The sun has
long sunk below the horizon, the moon was hardly visible in the sky. Perhaps
the sky lost its depth of blues as the clouds crimson and dark overcast it. I
was walking by the highway, listening to the tunes of modern lyrics, and as I
walked on in solitude, the road never ended but it faded through the green of
woods that too were immersed in the chaos of hazy fogs and at that point there
lies a stone.
The point
gave me a panoramic evening view of swift flowing Mangde chhu, the lush of green paddies on the lowlands of Tshangkha, the strategic temple with
rainbows of prayer flags at Tashichoeling,
the cluster of buildings of College of Language and Cultural Studies at Taktse and of course far beyond
imagination my insight could visualize the magnificent fortress of Chokhor Rabtentse and many more, if not
of the distractions of stirring clouds.
Sitting on
the stone and as I gazed on the flow of fogs, and I was then tuning to a melancholic Modern
Bhutanese verse, the lyric of reads as follows;
“Two souls
did met, yet happiness was a dream,
Sight captured the beauty, yet mind failed to appreciate
While seldom we encountered, feelings were feeble,
Now when we are to part, your reminiscence haunt me.
There’s neither
answer to my call, nor reply to my message
In the meantime, I lost my precious values.
Oh Fate, why are you such an illusion,
Why I don’t see destiny in my love…”
Soon I lost
my tune to the music and in the valley of fogs, my thoughts wondered like the fleeting
clouds; of beauty, of uncertainty, of simplicity, of pride and egotism, of pains
and tears , of positivity, of hopes and aspiration, and of course of this
beautiful life.
I first saw
beauty to which I lost my heart. That was the strength of beauty. The flowers
of different colours and variety, though each possess a striking exquisiteness,
the taste of nectar can never be ascertained that it will be sweet. So, what?
Will the beauty that captured my sight and to which I lost my heart possess a
beautiful heart to cherish an everlasting relationship? I didn’t dare to doubt,
after all the feelings of my heart mattered. “In my life, my purpose of living
is to fulfill your happiness.” Such sentence of selflessness and dedication has
already been reached to the other end, to embrace the love my heart, and so did
I. Yet my positivity yield no fruit, conversations over phone and sms exchanged
lost its values, little dreams and laughter we shared were to go futile for
reasons so silly and vague and there was no reflecting back. While to err is human, my forgiveness heard no
echo but my own words of promises and pledges reverberated in my ears; it
remained unfulfilled and there was a pain in my heart, tear in my eyes.
By then, the
music in my ear has shifted to soothing melody of Minzung and Namgay Jiks, but
it was an irony;
“Oh! Please don’t
go, leaving me behind,
When you go, I am filled with misery and poignancy.
Please don’t go, leaving me behind.
Without your presence in this world
my existence resembles a soulless body.
When you are gone too far
My life endures a hellish pain…”
My
conscience is my strength. I looked around; the clouds are drifting as usual
with its shape changing frequently. The fluttering prayer flags came to
standstill. Every phenomenon is momentary and fleeting. Uncertainty is the law
of universe. I then stared down the valley and could see the Mangde Chhu flowing swiftly though its
sound faintly heard. Life is never static but it’s ever dynamic and it must
flow on like the river. Each of us have a path to follow and destiny to reach,
like the green paddies that will soon reach the bowl of landlords in the form
of grains. At the end of the day, our mind should be free of guilt, of ego, but
be filled with humble thoughts and positive energy. Life is only beautiful with
positive energy and with values of humbleness and simplicity.
It
was getting darker, and soon the clouds gave way to light drizzle to cleanse my
thoughts. Such a place, such a weather to get immersed into the depth of feelings and
emotions in solitude.
“Life is beautiful not because one is beautiful, one is wealthy,
or one has extraordinary character. Life is beautiful only because of positive
energy. In life, don’t regret about the past because it taught you lessons.
Don’t worry about the future because it will come as surprise, sometimes it
will surprise you because it is beyond your expectation, but sometimes it
will surprise you because it is not up to your expectation, but it is meant to
happen. We can’t pretend to be happy when we are not so do what makes you
happy. After all our happiness matters. Don’t expect too much because
expectation hurts. Most importantly feel
the pride because we cared for ourselves. Life is short, live happily. Never be
proud because we let somebody down. We are meant to live this life by living
principles. Avoid negative energy and inculcate positivity.”
